Being close to yourself is the closeness to others

Acharya Prashant
6 min readNov 24, 2020

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question: ‘I fear coming close as I feel I will recoil. I have seen this happening in the past. Moving closer seems to be the only way.’ This is coming from a book by Osho. What do these lines mean?

AP: You cannot come close to something unless you value it, that is the way of thought. Understand this.

You are saying, ‘I fear coming close, as I feel I will recoil’.

The ego lives in attraction, you cannot come close to somebody unless you value what that somebody stands for.

That cannot just happen. So do not try to come close to an external person, do not try to come close.

Just observe, so that your thoughts start coming from another point.

Who is taking the decision of coming closer or not? The mind, the ego. The decision is thought. Now I don’t value what that person stands for. I may value something very fantastic, that person does not appear fantastic.

We all are people who love using the mind. Right? And the mind cannot love anything if at all we can use that word ‘love’. The mind cannot love anybody unless the mind values that person, and you cannot value that person. Your entire value system rallies against what that person stands for. How will you value that person?

You value a particular social conduct, that person does not display that conduct. You value possessiveness, that person is not available to possessiveness. How will you love that person? And remember when I am using the word ‘love’ here, I am saying that this is the love that comes from the mind. You cannot love that person. Your value system is opposite to what that person stands for. That person is so distant from you, how can you love him? Don’t even try to come close, because that will split you apart.

Remaining what you are, how can you come close to that? But you say, ‘I want to remain what I am, and yet I want to love that’. Love will happen, real love will happen. Do not try to love. And when that happens, you would not have to push yourself to come close, you will find that you are already close. Right now as you are, you cannot come close to that…