Conceive the child only in love

Acharya Prashant
9 min readApr 29, 2020

Following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question: Why is it important for a kid to be conceived in love?

Acharya Prashant: Because when the kid is conceived in love, then you will not want to possess the kid. When the kid is not conceived in love, then you would want to own the kid. For the sake of the kid, conceive the kid only in love.

You see what is happening. When you conceive the kid in love, then love is sufficient. Now you do not want returns from the kid. Now, you are not hungry anymore. The moment of love was sufficient. The love itself was sufficient.

Now you will not say that something is left unfinished and this kid is now responsible for finishing that. Now the kid is just a gift. Now the kid is not an organized activity. Now the kid is not an investment. Now the kid is not the output of your plan. If there was a plan, the plan was love.

The kid just happened, as a gift, as a bonus, as a blessing, as something additional. When you get something additional, you do not place your hopes on it, do you? It would be very cheap, to start placing expectations upon gifts. The gift is anyway an additional bonus. Now, why demand too much from it? Thank God, he just came. What more is to be wanted from him? Thank God he just came. We were never expecting him, we never planned for him. Planning was for something else and that was wonderful. And after that, this one, “Thank you so much.” Now you will not say that the kid is responsible for realizing all my unfinished dreams. Now you will not say that the kid bears the brunt of all your social aspirations, social morality and respectability. Love is complete unto itself.

If you will observe, you will find that people who are living most contented lives do not find it necessary to intrude in the lives of their kids, their sons and daughters. Because they are complete and satisfied in themselves. If they have to do something, or get something, or act something in a particular way, they place the responsibility on themselves. They would not say that that which is unfinished in my life must be taken forward by my offspring.

And on the contrary, people who themselves are frustrated, incomplete, insecure, barge just too much into the