How to Choose the Right Partner?

Acharya Prashant: The question is one: why do you need a partner? You need to ask that to yourself. Also, if you indeed do need a partner, are you with the wrong person, or are you with the right person?

If you discover that you really do need the presence of somebody in your life, first of all, the reasons must be very, very clear. You cannot just blindly go about inviting somebody into your very, very personal inner space; the reason has to be absolutely clear.

Secondly, if you are clear that you indeed do need someone, then you need to very honestly, very rigorously ask yourself, “The person that I am right now choosing, is he really right for me?” To answer that question, you will have to move into the spiritual dimension.

When you want to answer whether that person is right for you, you need to know who you are, you need to know what your deepest desire is, and then you also need to know what would really fill that desire.

So, you ask me, is live-in really an advancement? Not quite, not quite. It is just another kind of marriage. Cohabitation is a sensitive thing, living with somebody. One thing that really changes your life this way or that way is the power of the company. When you are living with somebody, then that person gains enormous power to affect your life in all kinds of ways, and you too get that power. So, it is both a vulnerability and a responsibility.

You become responsible for the other person’s upkeep, and you cannot do justice to that responsibility if you are not a spiritually evolved person. If you are someone who cannot take care of herself, how will you be sure that your presence, your company is not becoming an influence of sickness on the other person?

So, be very, very alert about cohabitation. Just don’t start living with anybody. Be very, very conscious of your personal space. It is sacred; not everybody must be allowed to enter it.

I am not merely talking of the body; the mind is much, much more sacred than the body.

The purity and such things of the body probably do not matter so much, but the mind must be kept virgin. Not every Tom, Dick, Harry must be allowed to touch your mind. Be very cautious.

Questioner: Does this apply to your friends and families as well?

Acharya Prashant: That applies to your friends and families, everybody. Very good interjection. So, when you are talking of marriage and live-in and such things, you must first of all be careful about your family members as well. Now, that makes it a little explosive, but then, as a teacher, it is my responsibility that this aspect too is brought out. Aren’t you living with your family members? You aren’t probably related to them in a sexual way, but the power of the company, the influence of a person’s presence on your life is still taking place.

So, see what the presence of other people is doing to you.

Obviously, when you are with a sexual partner then the power and the influence are magnified many folds, but even if the one you are with is not your husband or wife or sexual partner, even if that person is merely a friend or a brother or a sister or a father or a mother or a relative, the company would still show effect.

So, be very cautious of the one you are spending time with, the face that you are regularly seeing, the body that you are regularly smelling, the voice that you are frequently hearing. These are the things that would decide the direction of your life.