How to recover from a breakup?

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Questioner: I am a person, who is very sensitive and emotional and that’s why I easily get hurt. It’s been two months since I had a break-up with a guy and I am just not able to move on. It’s affecting me a lot. I didn’t want this to happen, even though, I never expected this from him. It has broken me completely from the inside.

I have lost myself, I have lost my mental peace and I feel so lonely and incomplete without him. And it is even more painful when I see that guy looking at some other girl. I still want him in my life. Although, now I know that it is not possible because he has completely moved on. What should I now do? Because it’s harming me and my career and my future.

Acharya Prashant: You are saying it has broken you completely from the inside.

No, you are lying.

Had you been completely broken from inside, then there would have been nobody left inside to experience the hurt.

What you call the ‘inside’, is just the Ego inside. And the Ego is a very magical thing, it becomes stronger when it gets hurt. It is not as if it loses its power when it gets hurt.

The more you hurt it, the more strength it gathers. So, first of all, please understand that you have a lot inside. A lot that has become only more cemented, more solidified after this episode. Had you been really empty from inside, who would have received the hurt? The arrow hits you, only when you block the arrow, right? Otherwise, it goes past you.

What is it within you that is blocking the happening?

You are hurt because you do not like what is happening. Your resistance is hurting you. An arrow comes to you, you obstruct it with your hand. It is the obstruction that you offer that will pierce your hand. Right?

You do not offer any obstruction to the arrow, the arrow just passes through by. Why are you obstructing the happening?

The fellow has moved on, and the population of the world is eight-hundred-crore, he is with another girl, now why are you begging after him? What will you get from him? Crumbs of love?