IIT Bombay: The real way to deal with dependency

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Questioner: Sir, how to overcome emotional dependency and loneliness?

Acharya Prashant (AP): First of all, there are not several types of dependencies. These types are very superficial. We might say, “I have a material dependency, I have a financial dependency, I have a physical dependency, I have an emotional dependency, I have a spiritual dependency, dependency’s dependency.” Who is dependent?

All dependency comes from the fundamental sense of incompleteness of the ‘I’. We are born feeling that something is not quite right about us. Even the newborn baby carries that deep belief — obviously not consciously — and it is that sense of imperfection or incompleteness that drives us through life. That is what makes most people do whatever they do in their lifetimes.

So, we acquire knowledge, we acquire social certification, we get into several kinds of relationships; we procreate, we amass wealth, we do this, do that, build a house, build a mausoleum for ourselves, we do all these things. Fundamentally, why do we do any or all of these things? Because we are not convinced that we are alright.

The ‘I’-tendency is a raging dissatisfaction against itself.