IIT Patna: Is it love or lust? I’m confused!

Acharya Prashant
5 min readMay 5, 2022

Following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Questioner (Q): My question is about relationships. As a boy, I might get attracted towards a girl, but eventually, that girl may become a close friend of mine. How can I know whether the feeling I have for the other is true love or just physical desire, like infatuation?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Aren’t you the best judge? Don’t you already know? You must be having male friends as well, so you know what a relationship that does not involve physical attraction feels like. I am assuming here that you are not physically attracted towards your male friends. Now, here is your female friend, and if you are thinking a lot about her physicality, then this in itself is clear proof that the relationship has a strong physical dimension. So, that is sufficient.

What are you relating to the other as and what is it in the other person that you feel attracted to or related to? What is the direction of your thoughts? What are you wanting from that person? When you think of that person, how do you think of that person? And if you think a lot of that person as the body, then you know that the relationship has a strong bodily component; that’s all.

Q: If I am not able to differentiate between these feelings, I might end up with a…