In your rotten ‘normal’ love, you just destroy your loved one

The following excerpt is from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question (Q): Someone said, “One basic characteristic of loving is to be interested in others’ spiritual growth.” What is spiritual growth?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Let us say that there are two persons, A and B. Whenever one person is related to another person, the effect of one person on the other, their mutual effect on each other can be of two types. One is — B becomes dependent upon A.

B already had a mind that wanted dependency, and now B has become all the more dependent on A. B has become attached to A, and A is relishing that attachment. A is saying, “See, she loves me so much, that is why she has become so much attached.” After all, the attachment is a sign of love. A has filled up B’s mind completely. A says, “B is now so completely in love with me, that now he or she is all the time thinking of me.” So obviously there is no scope for contemplation or introspection.

B used to be a reader. Every night, before sleeping, she would read at least for two hours. She typically went to bed at around ten o’clock, and would read till midnight, and then sleep. Now A knows that she retires at ten o’clock, so he calls her at ten every night. And now these two talk for two hours, and she…