The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.
Questioner (Q): When we go out, then we don’t see any other place, in which we find love, maybe some song or some movie but very little, very rare case. And that creates a disappointment, we are always disappointed. But there are only very few places like coming to you, coming to your sessions, so, that’s the only thing I have found that I am in peace, that’s the only place I have found where I am at peace. So, how would we tackle when we are going out, how would we tackle that?
Acharya Prashant (AP): First of all, you would feel settled only when you are left with no further need for, looking for love outside of you. You said, “when we go out, when we go elsewhere then we find very little love.”
As long as you are trying to locate love outside of you in the world; as long as you are trying to find a lovely object somewhere out there, it would remain a reason for disappointment.
Love is not something that you discover in another person, love is something that you carry with yourself, wherever you go.
To whom must you go to in the world? Go to the one who reduces your need to keep searching for love here and there. Please understand this. Let’s say you go to an object you fancy. Simply put, let’s say you go to, a woman you like and you start calling her “the love of your life”, and that period would be one of bliss. And the woman indeed seems to have brought love to you but she has also brought and very strongly brought a concept to you, what is that concept? The concept is “An external person can bring love to you.”
The woman obviously is giving you a period of bliss, no doubt about it, but she is also indoctrinating you in the concept that an external person can give you love or bliss. No, to whom must you go?
Go to the one who helps you get rid of this concept. What is the woman doing? She is further reinforcing the concept that love is to be found in the external world; in places, thoughts, persons, accomplishments, ideas, something.
Go to someone, who would never say “I am lovely, therefore, you are coming to me.” Go to someone, with whom you can be, for the reason, that, this togetherness, takes you both, to somewhere beyond…