Following in an excerpt from a newspaper article published in a leading Indian newspaper.
Those who are free of the world, are free to relate with the world in a healthy way, and those who are dominated by the world, have no real relationship with the world.
Given that all our relationships seem to be arising purely out of a sense of imagined need, is it possible to have any other kind of relationship?
Given what we are, we would probably, quickly, want to say, “No, if I do not need the other, why would the other have a place in my life?” Because that is what we see all around.
“The other has to serve some utility; he has to provide me financial security or physical pleasure, or has to be related to me by way of memory. And if neither of these are applicable, then why at all would I bother to have a relationship?”
Yes, you are right. Our relationships are just a bother. If the things that I mentioned do not hold, then you would not bother to have a relationship, then you would not really be constrained by your relationship.
It is possible to relate without having the need to relate. It is possible to have a totally purposeless and aimless relationship.
We are trained in usefulness, we pride ourselves on deriving uses out of even seemingly useless things. That is what we call as ‘innovation’. That we also call as ‘human creativity’.
“You see, this was just sand and we made a nuclear bomb out of it. Look at our creativity.”
But unless one learns the art of uselessness, his life will remain a perennial search; and that is not a good life to lead.
When one is not related to the other by way of habit or expectations, then there is complete Freedom in the relationship.
Then one does not accept limitations or obligations, and nor does one impose obligations on the other.
It is really a healthy relationship, because then it is real, and present, moment-to-moment.
You are not obliged to carry forward the past, you can really know who the person standing in front of you is. You can really talk, you can really relate.