The old is going, but where is the New?

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question (Q): Sir, I am awake almost 14–16 hours a day. I have been feeling that I have just been wasting away this time. Nothing is getting done. Nothing is being accomplished. There is so much I can do, but I avoid it because I have a doubt that may be the need to accomplish something is conditioning. But then what do I do?

I feel like my 16 hours a day are not productive. I read some books; the rest of the time I am just lost in the past. I am lost in memories, always remembering all the wrong I have done, all the pleasure and pain I keep recalling. I just sit all day lost in thoughts. I do this because I have read that society pushes you to ‘Do something’ and not sit Idle. But sitting idle like this is making me worried.

From the beginning we are told to always achieve something, to always try to get ahead of everyone else. So I said: “Fine, I won’t do anything”. Because of all this I am not learning any new skills, because I feel that all skills only strengthen the ego.

Sir, how to know whether the desire to do a particular action is coming from ego or from the true self?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Amandeep, the mind has been living for long in patterns. It knows no other way of being.