The real lover takes you beyond himself
A person deserves to be your lover only if the person is saying I am not going to become your goal. I am not going to become your objective. I will only become a fellow traveler, a means, a bridge.
If you come to me then I will take you beyond me. I will not make you stay with me. I will not possess you. I will not make you stop at me. Instead, I will guide you beyond me.
That is how the wise man decides on his lover, if it all it can be called a decision, because in such matters, what happens is so spontaneous that it cannot really be called a decision.
Please understand this carefully once again.
If you come across something or somebody that attracts you to itself, then that thing is in fact dangerous for you, because it will completely envelope you, encircle you, and in that way enslave you.
It will say you can move no further, your journey ends here at me. You are my husband now and go no further. You are my son, look no further. The real lover will say: because I love you, I’ll help you go Beyond. Maybe we will travel together to the Beyond.
The lover does not say: “You are travelling at a particular speed, I’ll enable you to move faster”. The lover says: “No more movement. I blocked the road now. Go no beyond.” And if you go beyond me then I…