The real lover takes you beyond himself
A person deserves to be your lover only if the person is saying I am not going to become your goal. I am not going to become your objective. I will only become a fellow traveler, a means, a bridge.
If you come to me then I will take you beyond me. I will not make you stay with me. I will not possess you. I will not make you stop at me. Instead, I will guide you beyond me.