To help yourself, help the other be free of yourself

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question: Acharya Ji, What does Osho mean when he says, “You help the other be alone so that you do not remain a need for the other?”

Acharya Prashant (AP): This is with reference to a relationship. There is a relationship, a relationship apparently involves two. And if the two are lonely, what are they doing in that relationship? Just fulfilling their own self-interests.

Because the lonely person has nothing but ‘himself’ in his world. The world exists for his sake so that he might be fulfilled. For the lonely person, who is paramount? “Himself, his needs.” And his needs are great! Why his needs are great? Because he is missing the Absolute, so his need is the?

Listeners (L): Absolute.

AP: And if your need is Absolute, nothing can fulfill your need. The Absolute is Infinite. If you are missing a little, then a little can fulfill you. If you are missing a little, then a little can fulfill you. But what if you are missing the Absolute. Then what would fulfill you? What hope is there? Too bad.

Two lonely fellows in a relationship, both are missing the Absolute. Both are really missing the Absolute. And both are trying to find in each other, the Absolute.

Now they keep exploring the Absolute, hunting for the Absolute, in the other. Do they get the Absolute? Had the other fellow had the Absolute, why would he have had the relationship with you?

The blind fellow is looking for some light, for some vision in the other. The other is saying, had I had some eyesight, why would I have picked you in the first place. The fact that I am with you, itself proves that I am blind. Now, you are blind and I am blind, and both are looking for eyesight in each other. Both are asking each other for directions. Both are holding each other’s hands in the hope that the other will help them out of their blindness and misery. Will that happen?

L: No.

AP: But, man is a stubborn creature. In spite of being humiliated, beaten up, defeated, trampled a thousand times, he still gets up and says, “I can have more.”