Toxic relationships, and the perfect breakup

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question: Acharya Ji, I wanted to talk more about relationships. And I want to talk about toxic relationships. When is it and how is it, that a relationship turns toxic?

Acharya Prashant (AP): We have to go to the very beginning of the relationship. Most of the time, a relationship does not really (emphasizing on the word ‘turn’) turn toxic; it is toxic in its inception, in its genesis itself. It’s just that the toxicity remains hidden when things are rosy and pink. And when the situations change and things turn a little adverse, then the toxicity surfaces, and we feel as if the relationship has turned sour or toxic. It hasn’t. How are relationships founded in the first place? Tell me how does that happen.

Listener (L): It’s usually with someone you see more often. Usually what happens is if you’re in the same class, or in the same workplace with somebody, you get familiar with the person. You know, you see him or her around a lot, or he or she approaches you.

AP: So first thing is — somebody has to be in your sensual field, the field of the senses. And then why does one feel attracted to that particular object?