One has a glimpse, or a good, extended period of bliss; and then it is gone, and one is missing it. Because one is missing it, so one wants its repetition. See what we want. We want a repetition of the experience that we had. We don’t want the thing; we want the experience. And the experience depends on the experiencer.
The one that you were three years back, you are no more now. Even if the real thing were to come to you today, it would not give you the same kind of experience that it gave you then, because ‘you’ have changed.
But we don’t want the real thing and the real thing might as well be still and already available to you. You would keep denying its existence because you are matching it against the previous experience.
You are saying, “No, this is not what I want; this that is being offered today is not what I want. What I want is a duplicate of that which happened to me three years back.” Please remember that the one to whom those things happened three years back is no more.
And if the experiencer is no more, how can the experience sustain? Why are you no more? Because, that very experience changed you. If that period of bliss and realization or discovery of identity had any worth, then that period would have surely transformed you and if it didn’t transform you, it was anyway worthless. ‘It did transform you. You are no more the one, who had that experience’.
How will you ever get a repeat? — you are demanding an encore — you are demanding the impossible.
Truth keeps coming to us, but we keep missing it because it does not quite tally with our images of the Truth.
And once you had, what you commonly call as an experience of the Truth, that experience is so overwhelming, and it is such a strong imprint on the memory that one starts asking again and again for its recurrence. One says, “Give me that same thing once again, please just once again; It was so blissful, so charming, so relieving. Give me that same thing just once again”. It won’t come to you that way ever again, but it would continuously come to you in newer ways.
If you are open to receive the Truth in newer ways, then the Truth is yours. But if you will stubbornly insist that the Truth must comply with your conditions, then you…