When one is destroying his own life

The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.

Question: Acharya Ji, Pranaam! I am damaging my future with my own hands.

Acharya Prashant (AP): Do you seriously believe that your hands are so powerful? Send me a photo of your hands, I would be interested. Which gym do you go to?

Questioner (Q): Acharya Ji, I don’t feel pain when I lose money on stocks. I am losing repeatedly. When I see the loss increasing from -30 to -70, my mind doesn’t generate any alert signal. I don’t feel pain when I don’t act to maintain relationships, I don’t act despite repeated failures, I feel I am a drunkard lying in a roadside drain.

I want to crib but won’t act at any cost. I am unable to get rid of the feeling of being victimized. What should I do so that I can observe my thoughts and actions as the third person?

AP: It’s okay. Had the loss been substantial, you would have cribbed. Don’t talk about what you are not cribbing about, see what you are doing. You are cribbing about not cribbing, and then you say that you are not cribbing.

It’s okay.

You have lost something. So? Must not have been material, must not have been important. And that’s why you are not moved, shaken. Does everything move you? You would not be moved or shaken if the thing is trivial.

It’s like saying, “Acharya Ji, a fly came and sat on my shoulder and I didn’t do anything. I have become such a lousy drunkard.” What must you do? Call the CIA? Dial 100, or 911, or 901, or whatever? A fly is a fly, it sat on your shoulder. That’s all. When somebody makes money in stocks, somebody loses money as well. Right? Is that not so?

Money changes hands. How many people can cry and crib? Nothing special is happening to you. Every day more people lose money in the stock market, than is the number of those who make money. What’s special? Why do you think that some great spiritual calamity has fallen upon you?

But we want to feel special, don’t we? “You know what, I lost money in stocks. But I still didn’t get a heart attack.” Why must you get a heart attack? It’s a small matter, let it happen. It’s okay.