The following is an excerpt from a samvaad (dialogue) session with Acharya Prashant.
Question: When I try to share the understanding that I have gained, people question my understanding in a way that I start doubting my understanding.
Acharya Prashant (AP): It’s a good temptation, right? “Look, I’ve got a new toy. The entire neighborhood must have a look at it!” “Come, look at my new clothes!” “See, how different is my new bike. See what I have got!” Why do you want to show what you have got?
You want to show what you have got because it makes you feel nice. It helps you believe that you have actually got something. Especially if others ratify that this dude now, has something, then I’ll come to have a more firm belief that “Alright, alright, it’s not all myth. There is something substantial that I own now”. You want to show it to others to prove that you have something. And exactly for the same reason, the others will dispute it, to prove that they have something. The existence of the two parties is at stake. How can they just accept that you have something? They have to resist, oppose, remonstrate. The entire process, from both sides, is just the process of the ego displaying its wares.
There is nothing called ‘my’ understanding. What you go and talk of, is the stuff that you have collected, and the stuff that you have collected is never understanding. Understanding is not something to be talked of. You can live it, breathe it, it will be there in every aspect of your movement and if somebody has the eyes, he will see. He’ll see without much of your effort. You won’t even know that you are already radiating the essence. You would become a walking transmitter, a moving lighthouse. Even without your deliberate will, if there is understanding, it shows up. It is not shown; it shows up on its own. That’s its nature. It doesn’t remain hidden; it does not ask to be advertised. You don’t have to broadcast it.
But it’s such a nice temptation: “Come here all of you, there is something new I have got”. Exactly for the same reason that you want to collect the corner crowd, the corner crowd will refuse to acknowledge that you have got something. As I said: the existence of the two parties is at stake. You want to enhance your ego, which should be at the cost of somebody…