You go to the other only because you perceive yourself to be small
The ego is always looking for profit. The ego is always looking to go to someone who can fulfill its objectives. Obviously, ego is a foolish entity, so it does not know it’s real objectives. The ego does not know what would really give it fulfillment. But in its own self-proclaimed, self-held wisdom, the ego keeps on deciding. The ego keeps on deciding who is beneficial for the ego, to whom it must go. Now how does the ego firstly decide that it is needy?
The ego decides that it is needy in comparison to the rest of the world.
Otherwise, there is no way that ego can come to this conclusion. The ego decides that it needs to be more attractive, more beautiful. How does it know firstly that it is not yet, very attractive or beautiful? By comparing itself to another. The ego decides that it needs to be stronger. How does it firstly know that it is not strong enough? By comparing itself to someone else. The ego decides that it needs to be more knowledgeable. How does it firstly know that it is not knowledgeable enough? By comparing itself to somebody who appears to have more knowledge.
So, my sense of need itself comes from comparison with someone who appears to be bigger than me.
That obviously has now decided automatically for me to whom I would go. If I have decided that I am weak by looking at a strong one, then to whom am I going to go? To a strong one, obviously. First of all, the strong one is the one who by way of comparison made me feel that I am weak, relatively. So, if I have to associate myself, who would be my preferred partner? Obviously the strong one. How do I know that I lack in knowledge? Because I compared myself with the knowledgeable one. So when it comes now to choosing a companion to whom would this ego deficient in knowledge go? To the knowledgeable one.
Now if I am weak, I’m going to go to the strong one. I’m going to go to the strong one till he is stronger. I’m going to go to the knowledge till he appears knowledgeable. The day his strength falls apart, would I go to him?
You go to the other only because you perceive yourself to be small, incomplete and deficient. You go to the other who appears to promise to make up for your deficiency. It is only for this profit that you are attracted to the other. And that is the ugly fact about our relationships.
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